I remember learning that in the Afro Cuban religion one often experiences a series of crisis before haciendo santo (or at least that is how I understood it). I am experiencing a series of crisis that are determined to remind me that my life is not in my hands and that I should NEVER become complacent. I have work to do.
I fantasize about naps and ocean breezes, about knowing smiles and relaxation. I plan these moments, the tiniest moments to catch my breath and each time my plans are foiled. It is 8:43 and I don't have time to do this I just need a minute to try to think about why I am where I am . It is not a horrible place but I see that it is not where I lay my head. I have NOT yet arrived and I guess I should just get my a$$ in gear because I'll have plenty of time to rest in the afterlife.
I try to change gears from my fantasies about sleep to my "anywhere but here" attitude. Here meaning at this place in life. How do get past now without missing out on now and enjoying all that it has to offer?