Saturday, November 12, 2011

Gotta Clear My Head

It is November 12th and we have no place to live at the end of the month. I will put my head on straight today and make calls and see what miracles can happen.

Tea kettle on
House a mess
Kids asleep
Work awaits!

Heart confused
Mind unfocused
Spirit uneasy
Body awaits!

What do I do now?  I am frozen.  For a few days I was lost in conversation.  It was nice and while we talked I forgot that I carried so many.  He didn't seem to notice, but then he did and again I notice.  It was nice.  It was silly.  I am still alive, after all of that I am still alive.

Slowly I wipe away the make up, the eyeliner.  I take off the dress and the heels. I put on my house clothes, an old skirt, a long sleeved shirt and socks to keep my feet warm, they don't usually match.  I wrap my head in a scarf and put my smile on a shelf but reflections of it linger.  It was fun.  

It was so good to feel pretty and wanted.  The truth though is that I work from pain and if I get comfortable I may forget what it is that I can do for someone else.  So today I am no longer fifteen.  Tomorrow is a different story.  I hope he is well.

Cup of tea in hand and first load of laundry in the washer.  I am off to a good start.

I think I'll go start my car and let it run for a bit.  It's been sitting there for days waiting to be repaired.  Well, I hope it starts.

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