It is November 12th and we have no place to live at the end of the month. I will put my head on straight today and make calls and see what miracles can happen.
Tea kettle on
House a mess
What do I do now? I am frozen. For a few days I was lost in conversation. It was nice and while we talked I forgot that I carried so many. He didn't seem to notice, but then he did and again I notice. It was nice. It was silly. I am still alive, after all of that I am still alive.
Slowly I wipe away the make up, the eyeliner. I take off the dress and the heels. I put on my house clothes, an old skirt, a long sleeved shirt and socks to keep my feet warm, they don't usually match. I wrap my head in a scarf and put my smile on a shelf but reflections of it linger. It was fun.
It was so good to feel pretty and wanted. The truth though is that I work from pain and if I get comfortable I may forget what it is that I can do for someone else. So today I am no longer fifteen. Tomorrow is a different story. I hope he is well.
Cup of tea in hand and first load of laundry in the washer. I am off to a good start.
I think I'll go start my car and let it run for a bit. It's been sitting there for days waiting to be repaired. Well, I hope it starts.