Sunday, January 27, 2013

Dear Wonderful Braggart

The wonderful thing about blogging is that I can speak my mind in terms general or specific.  I again write to YOU - my muse.  You don't know that you are my muse.

You are so confident telling me to my face what you/we might have done.  Where was I when we might have done these things?  I know we're playing with fire but I have no intention of getting burnt.  You are, however, my muse.  When I stand near you I have things to say.  I feel .... more, more deeply.  I want....  I like it.  I like to like you.  How do I keep you close?  or should I?

I am more honest in my lies than anyone you know because when I utter them they are true... but...  I walk away and make sure you're looking.  I love it.  What you give me is better for this woman's soul than flowers and poetry...  And when I look back and you're not there, I linger looking at nothing in particular... thinking of what deliciously packed words I can leave for you that will paint a picture that you like to look at...

... to enjoy that moment without futile longing or hope is the most beautiful thing.  To live in that moment and respond to that moment is freedom.

... I am like your words but not your actions.  If I just listen our souls are made from the same substance but if I open my eyes, listen and process ALL of your words we are foreigners.  In some respect that adds to the fun; you intrigue me.  You say things that I am unfamiliar with and you never cease to shock me.  I don't respond not because I'm shy but because I don't know how.  I need to walk away and think about what you've said to decide how to answer.  I see that my response must take into account whether I want to continue the conversation and I do.

I have accepted that our friendship is a moment and so I won't try to tailor it to fit me.  I will just smile and see how deep your mind can go.  In the beginning I believed that I could say to you what I truly think but I cannot.  You don't want that.  This is your game.  You write the rules.  I'm okay with that.  I'll listen and reflect.

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