Sunday, November 16, 2014

C'mon Jo, Get it together....please....

I always will myself to be healed sooner than I am and then my cracks start running together....

I am there now.  I need to let go of every yesterday.  Success is not final and failure is not fatal.  

Again, I feared my world ending.  

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Winter has come and the children need - everything.  One by one we are getting coats and closed 
shoes and shirts that fit.  We are trying to figure out lunch money because all of the hard work I did last year to be enough just means that we don't qualify for free or reduced price lunch.  We finally have a roof over our heads that I can consider home.  The kids grow not only in need but in wants; they want it all.  

I'm doing some training for work online and was so upset that I wasn't able to finish it in the time I took off of work to work on it.  I just have to forgive myself and make each day the best I can.  I must now, however focus on me.  

Going through the housing situation is going to take some help to get over if I am to come through it a better person.  It left me with a lot of anger and killed some of the optimism that I'd always had.  I need to center.  I just have to do what I can do and do the best I can do.  I owe no one any explanations.  I don't do excuses.  I just have to find a way to do my best.

My mom used to always say that she was tired.  I understand that sentiment and I must fix it.  I feel that frustration every day.

There is no beauty or poetry in this only hope.  I need to change things.